jacket

"I'm just broadcasting the fact that even if I do suffer a case of erectile dysfunction from time to time, I have ample supplies with which to remedy such a situation. Please do not let the thought of erectile dysfunction diminish the likelihood of you sexing me."

That should definitely be a straight jacket.

Or high school band coat?

This is so she can blend in in Canada.

Seriously. If you're going to wear that shirt, stop slouching.