dating

Loving of t-shirt all time, the excellent!

The perfect underwear for you and that special FAIL-y Someone in your life!

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

We're all looking for someone to love, even Bubba here.

The fact that they've never seen each others' faces probably explains how they've been together as long as they have.

...what's the problem?

What's that? Left foot on red too? I couldn't possibly do that!

Ted is here to bring you the gift of "sitting on the couch," "complaining about the Cubs," and "asking for another beer." Truly he is a deity among men.

Not that I wouldn't jump at the chance to be joined in holy matrimony with Sub-Zero, but come on.