Why do you think this bright young chap isn't allowed to have any pencils? Post your theories in the comments below!
My Mum (after being told that her new Noah's ark ring was religious): When you think of Noah's ark, do you think of animals? Or do you think of Moses... Or whoever it was that built it?
We all love FAIL vidoes, but who needs all of those unnecessary load times and Flash players? Here's some good old FAIL in handy GIF form!
Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross. Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six months? Mum: Yes, but we never went beyond kissing. She wanted to stay virgin until married.
(My mom and I discussing school projects) Me: Essay projects are one of the few school projects that I don't mind doing, since they're not a right answer-wrong answer sort of thing. Mom: I actually like more solid foundations, like in math: 2 + 2 will always be 2... Wait a second...
Me: *putting on chapstick* Dad: Is that stuff good for chapped lips? I wonder if that'd work for my asshole... maybe I should get some.
(Mom and I watching "The First Wives' Club") Mom: You know, if your dad ever wanted to divorce me, I think I'd just murder him. Me: What, why? Mom: Because I'd rather be a widow than a first wife.
