mom

(My Mom was watching the TV when I joined her. She had no idea I was gay.) Mom: Any nice boys in your class? Me: No. Mom: Any nice boys in another class? Me: No. Mom: Do you even look at the boys? Me: ... No, not really. Mom: You prefer girls? Me: ... Yes. Mom: Any nice girls in your class?

(I've been learning to drive for about six months, and I'm driving a different car than I normally do.) Me: How do you turn on the lights for this car? Mama: Why do you need the lights? Me: Uhm... Because I don't want to die?