pop

The character of Patrick Bateman in the book/movie American Psycho was infamous for, among other things, waxing philosophic on the genius of 1980s Top 40 acts such as Phil Collins and Huey Lewis and the News before cold-bloodedly butchering victims. Author Bret East Ellis might be working on a sequel to American Psycho, and if so, he's already fleshing out the character's attitude towards popular music today.

Even as he's saying "metal," he's furiously changing the track on his iPod's "Now Playing" menu from K-Pop to something more kvlt.

A feud has been going down 'twixt Nicki Minaj and Lil' Kim. Why? For how long? Should we care? Who knows? But can we all agree that Nicki Minaj's last single, meant to be a diss track for Lil' Kim, sucked major ass?

Why did N*Sync always sing in that weird L.A. accent? Did they not think they'd ever have an audience outside of southern California? WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN MIDDLE AMERICA? THEY LISTENED TO YOUR MUSIC TOO.

Trve Story.

Just when the Backstreet Boys and 'Nsync were fading from memory, '90s fever catches up again with the Second Coming of the Boy Band. Already ridiculously popular in their native U.K., the preteen quintet One Direction has made enough of a splash in the U.S. for the predictable boy band backlash to occur. This particular parody doubles as a nice introduction to the band if you haven't heard of them yet.

The reigning King of Tween Pop turns 18 and legal today! Beliebers will stalk him with redoubled fervor, Begrievers will continue posting "lesbian lol" on his YouTube videos, and people who don't care will continue listening to their own music. One thought, though: if he's 18 already, does this mean his voice is as low as it's going to get?

...and the balladeer in the video is named Hugh Oliver. He's pleased to meet you, too.

In the interests of being fair, "Stupid Hawe" Nicki Minaj is a far cry from "Super Bass" Nicki Minaj.