TV

Nicki Minaj's latest album, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, came out yesterday. Or something. BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT IT HERE.

The only Chris Rock in this show are the verbal rocks people are slinging at Chris Brown.

The annual rate of crab suicide is directly proportional to the output of electronic music per year.

You are now more culturally informed than you were three minutes ago.

Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo? Still a better love story than Rihanna and Chris Brown. That alone is reason enough to make this Parody of Rihanna's Stay better than the original.

We don't suffer foo gladly in these parts.

That's right! Is your loved one complaining you spend too much time butchering the innocent in the carrion-strewn hellpits across town? Are you having trouble finding someone who shares your dread loathing of the puny wretches who people the earth? Gwar will relieve you from the festering stink of existential rot!

The punctuation is especially important.

In case you missed it last night or everywhere else around the interwebs today, Obama totally did a sexy slow jam with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots on Late Night. He's definitely earned the smooth pickup artist vote.