Find your bright pink vibrator BEFORE your friends come over, or they will... prominently displayed on your bedside table. #LFMF
Do not use magnetic laser levels on concrete walls because it does not stick. #LFMF
I read 50 Shades of Grey. #LFMF
When you go to walk through a door, remember to actually open it first. #LFMF
When bringing a raft down to the beach, never attempt to hold on to it while riding in the back of a truck. If you do make sure to hold on tight or end up like me with a very big bump on the head and a stage 2 concussion. #LFMF
If you accidentally get into the wrong car at your bus stop, quickly apologize and get out. Don't freeze up. You'll have a lot of explaining to do to the driver and the person who was supposed to pick you up. #LFMF
Don't shave in the middle of a sneezing fit. Just don't. #LFMF
When your cat is making funny noises in the night and the next morning you throw your clothes on and run out the door. That funny feeling in the back of your knee is not a pair of underwear that went astray...it's a mouse that the cat played with all night and when it escaped it crawled in there to die! Worse it's been there for at least an hour before you noticed it... to school, to the store.... #LFMF
