Probably bad News

news lady bits bewbs Probably bad News - 8395033088
Via Uproxx
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The state of Florida is trying to buy the land of this seedy strip club - no joke once called "The Booby Trap." The state sees it as an eyesore and is offering the owners well over the asking price, hoping to tear the building down and resell the land.

Clearly, this is an affront to all lovers of bewb-shaped architecture.

eggnog christmas news Probably bad News fail nation - 8409484544
Via ABC News
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From ABC News:

Roche, 33, said he shaved 10 seconds off the previous best time of 22 seconds that day, earning him bragging rights and a $50 gift certificate to Ruth's Chris Steak House. But the glory was short-lived: Later, at home, he started to feel sick.

"Two hours later I was laying on the couch, shaking uncontrollably, nauseous, having fevers and panting," said Roche, who works in sales.

Roche ended up spending three days in the hospital. But hey, sweet gift card!

funny-news-fail-florida-newspaper-shooting-gun-show-ad
Via Gawker
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Tragedy struck in a Jacksonville community when two young men opened fire in a school bus and shot two students. 

But then this happened.

Yikes.

That's a sticker advertisement (placed on the front page of each issue) for an upcoming gun show, offering discounted admission to those interested. In a statement from a Times-Union Audience Relationship representative, the paper formally apologized for what has to be the worst case of coincidental timing imaginable.