Probably bad News

According to Lan Tien, "It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result." One might use this as a teaching moment to talk about the safety of one's tally-whacker in the open air, but all we're left wondering is just HOW your jingle-jank can "fall" into an open pipe.

These are the mysteries of life, people.

Yeah, so it's been a bit of a rough news week, it would seem.

These days Geldof is better known for his work with the charity group Band Aid, but today he'll be "that guy who got kicked off of cable television for saying the thing that Americans don't even know is vulgar."