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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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IT Helpdesk manager emails demanding staff arrive 15 minutes early to login and be ready to take calls "1 second before" their shift, staff comply and hang up on customers the second their shift ends: 'Sorry to interrupt you, my shift is over. Goodbye'
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Employee gets laid off without notice, and when he says he already has a new job, he gets asked if he was going to give proper notice: ‘You just told me my role is done by Friday, and you're asking me about proper notice.’
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Friend has to step out of a vacation with friends, but offered to pay his part anyway to avoid inconveniences. The hotel canceled the reservation, so he asked for his money back: ‘Sorry, we need the money, so I can’t give it back’
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Employee stops overworking as it hasn't brought any raises, workload increases for everybody else, boss notices how much he was doing when he stopped: 'He admitted I was doing work that should have been divided between at least two roles.'
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Male Karen gets upset over the booking price and complains to the front desk, he gets denied service, so he brings an ex-cop friend to regain his room: 'Go ahead! Call the [police]! See if I care! I'm a retired officer!'
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