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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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IT Helpdesk manager emails demanding staff arrive 15 minutes early to login and be ready to take calls "1 second before" their shift, staff comply and hang up on customers the second their shift ends: 'Sorry to interrupt you, my shift is over. Goodbye'
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Call center operator obliged to start 15 minutes before his shift to load the company's archaic software, told to work until 4:00 PM on the dot, he complies, ending a call right at the end of his shift: 'I am following expectations and written directions'
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Employee gets laid off without notice, and when he says he already has a new job, he gets asked if he was going to give proper notice: ‘You just told me my role is done by Friday, and you're asking me about proper notice.’
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Employee stops overworking as it hasn't brought any raises, workload increases for everybody else, boss notices how much he was doing when he stopped: 'He admitted I was doing work that should have been divided between at least two roles.'
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Landlord withholds tenant's entire $1,850 security deposit over a worn carpet, then sends an invoice from a repair company he secretly owns: ‘I’m preparing a demand letter’
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