romance

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The methodology was simple: take the number of times MyFitnessPal users logged chocolate and champagne into their food diaries, add that to the number of times users added "sex" to their exercise databases (yes, that's an actual exercise activity listed on MyFitnessPal), and compile it into a single statistic: the Romance Index.

As for the states themselves...

  • The state with the most chocolate usage was Utah.
  • The state with the most champagne usage was California.
  • The state having the most sex was Arkansas.
  • The state with the highest cumulative usage of all three was...

... Rhode Island?

Yup, there's nothing tiny about Rhode Island when it comes to love; they beat out all 49 other states in total Romance Index. You can see the remainder of the top 10 here:

And sorry, Wyoming, but you're the least romantic state in the entire union, followed by Nebraska, and, surprisingly, Hawaii. Paradise isn't everything, apparently.

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If you think "The Notebook" sets your girlfriend's expectations too high, just try seeing "Drive." Soon she'll expect you to take down at least two heads of organized crime before she'll even think to consider the possibility that you're really committed. Damn you, Ryan Gosling!

Oh well, if her expectations are that high you can always date a sex doll instead like Lars from "Lars and the Real Girl." Thank you, Ryan Gosling!

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Pornhub Shares Valentine's Day Traffic Insights and Offers Premium Access for Free

Well, that seals the deal: we're all getting lucky in one way or another tonight, am I right? The results themselves here are about on par with what you'd expect for the notorious, romantically-inclined, ever-commercialized holiday. People near and far definitely have the hard hearts on for the knee-buckling kind of orgasm that's artificially love-induced. 

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By Unknown
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Don't forget the time-honored "girl gets trapped in a cube for 2,000 years and saved by her robot boyfriend who was previously wiped from existence."