ok cupid

The first rule of creating a dating site profile is always to highlight your most desirable attributes.

Wow, she's super hot, plays Black Ops/Battlefield, and is available? NO WAY!

AND she's studying to be a vet, so she comes prepackaged with loads of puppies and crap.

And then I wept over how single I was.

Yep, he got called out. No, he hasn't changed a bit :P

She's one of Yannis Pappas' 5 funniest things, be sure to click here to check out the other 4!

And remember, if you want a woman like Kate, you're going to have to summer your flat white butt off!

I fear for anyone who actually fell for this and ended up at that warehouse.

Via Uproxx:

It sounds like any other romantic evening of fine wining and dining in New Jersey — a sports bar in a small south Jersey town called Atco, and a red 2007 Toyota Solara with custom tags that read “JSRYGRL”. The date, who identified himself as Gennaro Aladena of Atlantic City, convinced the woman to bring him back to her place. That’s when he stole the car.