missed connections

When you want your ex to leave you alone so bad that you start looking for dates for her.

Here's a rundown of my reaction to this post, sentence by sentence:

1. Oh it rhymes, that's cute.
2. Alrighty then, starting to get uncomfortable... years?
3. LOL delusional too. "Dude that girl I've been stalking is totally into me. She's so into me she stalks me too! Sometimes we stalk in circles!
4. HOLD the phone. Is he moving next door to her? And someone's already involved with this creep? 5-7. idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg

Don't approach you in public? Will you run away like a fawn startled in the wild?

Maybe she looked like Cameron Diaz? (There's Something About Mary. I saw this after I decided to see what hilarity my town had to offer.)

I will henceforth refer to tampons as "blood Teabags of love."

Oh recession, what new acts of desperation will you drive people to do?

Craigslist fail of someone who someone with meat flying out of them when they were choking on in a Waffle house.

Maybe she's trying to tell you that you need to floss.

Good friends! That's all he's looking for!

Eye Love Craigslist

Funny Craigslist posting of someone who had a magical moment with someone on a strange treasure hunt that left behind a glass eye. You think the post is one of love and wanting to return the glass eye, but nope, he just telling her he gonna keep the glass eye because it is cool.
Just to be clear, he put this posting on Craigslist just to let her know he is keeping the glass eye! WHAT?