sex

Shhhh, bro. Don't fight it.

That sounds incredibly painful.

You might be confused by the "Meeple" and "Mupple" exchange at the beginning, but a quick trip to Urban Dictionary clears things up.

Meeple:
A generic term for little wooden figures used in german board gaming.

Mupple: A mixed-race heterosexual couple, of which one partner, generally the male, is of Caucasian appearance and the other partner, generally the female, is of South-East Asian appearance.

That makes sense! So the son/daughter was pontificating to "Dad" about the apparent lack of control any of us has over our lives, like pawns on a chessboard or meeples in a German board game, and "Dad" responded that by pairing ourselves into loving and supportive but unconventional relationships (such as, just for example, a mupple), we can often soothe the pang of life's persistent existential uncertainty. This segues perfectly into the son/daughter discussing his/her preferences when finding suitable partners.

Auto correct is warning us against Siri's advice.

Because the market for screwing even a hollow digital representation of a thing with breasts is strong enough, a Fleshlight iPad case holder is in development and will hit the adult toy shelves soon.

The above picture is only a concept mock-up, but it gives you the basic idea: a fake vagina for lonely people to play with while they look at real ones on-screen.

BRB, have to go look at cat pictures to purge all the grossness from my brain.

People have already been complaining that Siri doesn't provide enough information on birth control, but THIS IS GOING A BIT TOO FAR.