forever alone

I could have sworn I felt something vibrate. Wait, nevermind, that was just my crippling loneliness.

I knew buying those two iPhones would comes in handy someday!

Siri is basically an escort.

But really you'll just be alone with your "interests."

Feeling lonely at a party? Don't worry, there's nobody to make you feel OK with this!

It's okay, bro, we've all been there.

"Pretty damn sure!"

I'll be here anyway. Waitin' for a friend. Yup. Anyyyy day now...