drinking

Someone had left a plastic knife on the seat, and you said "Sorry, I can't drive stick."

I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).

Jimmy is not amused.

It's GOT to be more complicated than that...

Hey Emoji, Y U NO MAKE THE BEER GREEN?

Siri is like that loud sweaty guy who's in or comes from a frat, who says "Dude! Stand up and take another shot bro! Come on, you can do this!" to the guy who can't figure out where the floor is.

Where else but the bar?

As if "the sports bar" wasn't vague enough.

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

Is liquor life?