drinking

The question is, if she's out celebrating, where's Joey? Sitting at home alone while he reads happy birthday texts from people who are partying without him? Diff'rent strokes, I guess.

Some days I feel like taking after Misses Edna Prooster and taking a baton to you Farmville-requesting asses.

I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

That moment Saturday or Sunday morning when you frantically check your history to see if you made an ass of yourself last night.

Dad never jokes about his alcohol.

Is liquor life?

Jimmy is not amused.

Four y's! We all know what that means!

Hey Emoji, Y U NO MAKE THE BEER GREEN?

When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).