drinking

Siri is like that loud sweaty guy who's in or comes from a frat, who says "Dude! Stand up and take another shot bro! Come on, you can do this!" to the guy who can't figure out where the floor is.

Is liquor life?

Hey Emoji, Y U NO MAKE THE BEER GREEN?

Where else but the bar?

Four y's! We all know what that means!

Jimmy is not amused.

Someone had left a plastic knife on the seat, and you said "Sorry, I can't drive stick."

Bro: It's now a verb.

And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.

The question is, if she's out celebrating, where's Joey? Sitting at home alone while he reads happy birthday texts from people who are partying without him? Diff'rent strokes, I guess.

This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."