drinking

This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."

I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

Bro: It's now a verb.

And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

From the submitter:

Bane of my existence constantly coming to my door because she is allergic to music.

Sadly, your relationship with your neighbor has just been taken to a whole different level of awkward.

Jimmy is not amused.

Siri is like that loud sweaty guy who's in or comes from a frat, who says "Dude! Stand up and take another shot bro! Come on, you can do this!" to the guy who can't figure out where the floor is.

Where else but the bar?

Is liquor life?

Downvoted into oblivion? Dude, the "you were so drunk last night" posts regularly scored 4.5/5 thumbs out of almost a thousand votes when we had voting on the front page, to say nothing of how well they (still) do on the vote page, which is how they make the front page in the first place. Sorry bro, but you're still in the minority for now.

/rant