drinking

I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

From the submitter:

Bane of my existence constantly coming to my door because she is allergic to music.

Sadly, your relationship with your neighbor has just been taken to a whole different level of awkward.

The question is, if she's out celebrating, where's Joey? Sitting at home alone while he reads happy birthday texts from people who are partying without him? Diff'rent strokes, I guess.

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

Someone had left a plastic knife on the seat, and you said "Sorry, I can't drive stick."

Is liquor life?

Where else but the bar?

Dad never jokes about his alcohol.

Siri is like that loud sweaty guy who's in or comes from a frat, who says "Dude! Stand up and take another shot bro! Come on, you can do this!" to the guy who can't figure out where the floor is.

Downvoted into oblivion? Dude, the "you were so drunk last night" posts regularly scored 4.5/5 thumbs out of almost a thousand votes when we had voting on the front page, to say nothing of how well they (still) do on the vote page, which is how they make the front page in the first place. Sorry bro, but you're still in the minority for now.

/rant