By aresha
From the submitter:
Bane of my existence constantly coming to my door because she is allergic to music.
Sadly, your relationship with your neighbor has just been taken to a whole different level of awkward.
drinking
By Unknown
That moment Saturday or Sunday morning when you frantically check your history to see if you made an ass of yourself last night.
It's been almost a decade since people started enjoying the schadenfreude and humor of reading drunk texts, but this sht just doesn't get old. And fortunately for all of us, until we all need to be certified sober to send texts, there will be an endless amount of wild and hilarious exchanges.
Warning: some of these *might be falsified, but we're gonna let that slide because they're still funny as hell.
By Steve
This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."
Downvoted into oblivion? Dude, the "you were so drunk last night" posts regularly scored 4.5/5 thumbs out of almost a thousand votes when we had voting on the front page, to say nothing of how well they (still) do on the vote page, which is how they make the front page in the first place. Sorry bro, but you're still in the minority for now.
/rant
The question is, if she's out celebrating, where's Joey? Sitting at home alone while he reads happy birthday texts from people who are partying without him? Diff'rent strokes, I guess.
By Unknown
When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).
By Unknown
Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"
