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21 Drunk & Morning After Texts That Are As Dubious As They Are Entertaining

It's been almost a decade since people started enjoying the schadenfreude and humor of reading drunk texts, but this sht just doesn't get old. And fortunately for all of us, until we all need to be certified sober to send texts, there will be an endless amount of wild and hilarious exchanges. 

Warning: some of these *might be falsified, but we're gonna let that slide because they're still funny as hell.

Funny drunk texts and texts from the morning after.
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Austin autocorrect back black drinking dwarfing Oprah Winfrey white - 5407121152
By Unknown
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When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).

drinking drunk text last night meme success success kid - 5912024832
By Unknown
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That moment Saturday or Sunday morning when you frantically check your history to see if you made an ass of yourself last night.

complicated drinking drunk drunk text fat fingers hard martinis old translator - 6035593984
By Unknown
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Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

drink drinker drinking drunk drunk text shirt - 5535569408
By Steve
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This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."

drinking drunk failblog last night meta obviously has no idea of how voting works - 5855244800
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Downvoted into oblivion? Dude, the "you were so drunk last night" posts regularly scored 4.5/5 thumbs out of almost a thousand votes when we had voting on the front page, to say nothing of how well they (still) do on the vote page, which is how they make the front page in the first place. Sorry bro, but you're still in the minority for now.

/rant

AutocoWrecks drinking drunk Farmville gardening last night - 5768482816
By Unknown
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Some days I feel like taking after Misses Edna Prooster and taking a baton to you Farmville-requesting asses.

beer brew and bro bro bros drinking work - 5741794816
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Bro: It's now a verb.

And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.