It's been almost a decade since people started enjoying the schadenfreude and humor of reading drunk texts, but this sht just doesn't get old. And fortunately for all of us, until we all need to be certified sober to send texts, there will be an endless amount of wild and hilarious exchanges.
Warning: some of these *might be falsified, but we're gonna let that slide because they're still funny as hell.
When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).
That moment Saturday or Sunday morning when you frantically check your history to see if you made an ass of yourself last night.
Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"
This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."
Downvoted into oblivion? Dude, the "you were so drunk last night" posts regularly scored 4.5/5 thumbs out of almost a thousand votes when we had voting on the front page, to say nothing of how well they (still) do on the vote page, which is how they make the front page in the first place. Sorry bro, but you're still in the minority for now.
/rant
Some days I feel like taking after Misses Edna Prooster and taking a baton to you Farmville-requesting asses.
Bro: It's now a verb.
And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.
