vodka

These ain't your childhood cakes, kids!

See our full collection of Valentine's Day fails over at Dating Fails!

I feel ya, comrade. If you can scrounge up a bottle of Everclear somewhere, you might be able to get a bit tipsy, if that helps.

Nostrovia, everyone! In keeping with our strict observance of all drinking-related holidays, we wish you a fruitful and productive National Vodka Day. It's the most popular liquor in America and deserves to be celebrated as such. Drink up!

I can't imagine the fortitude it takes to chug an entire bottle of Ciroc. I implore you, do not try this at home, lest you lose the entire contents of your stomach.