politics

#GOPDnD recently popped up as a new trending Twitter hashtag that entertains the idea of how Republicans would go about handling a game of Dungeons & Dragons. Spoiler Alert: the hashtag does nothing if not make it seem like they'd be terrible to play with. And queue up the inevitable rage-riddled, politically-fueled shitstorm...

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The court rules in favor of love. Now, you two kiss.

Yesterday was Neil Gorush's Supreme Court nomination hearing, and boy, was it exciting. It's not every day you see a Supreme Court nominee vying for a stolen seat. 

But aside from the insane-o politics of the Supreme Court right now, Ted Cruz was looking like he was having a good time yesterday. Who wouldn't be having a good time when your boss once said that your dad might've been involved with the Kennedy assassination

All of those feelings bubbled to the surface when Cruz took one look at Merrick Garland, the man who would make corporations can be treated as people in the eyes of the court, especially if a company has a religious belief and a company wants to go to heaven one day. 

Tell you about who was in heaven already: Ted Cruz. Look at this guy:

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Via: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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Donald Trump managed to make another splash on the hysterical Twitter scene yesterday after a couple weeks of surprising silence, by butchering an attempt at paying homage to the Irish in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Naturally, Stephen Colbert capitalized on the slip-up by reading more of the President's favorite (not so) Irish proverbs.

Via: Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Pretty shitty week for that reality-TV gameshow host who's really struggling to be president right now. His travel ban was blocked because his cronies couldn't stop bragging about how racist it was, his wiretapping claim is bunk, and his budget plan is putting a halt to those pesky Meals on Wheels senior. Wow, pretty dumb stuff to have read or write about the leader of the free world. 

Anyway, Seth Meyers is getting us through it because Seth funny. Funny is good. Cutting PBS bad. 

Cute. I remember my first beer. 

Yesterday, at an event where that reality-TV gameshow host who became president last year with the Irish Prime Minister, House speaker Paul Ryan raised a pathetic glass of Guinness and nearly set off an international incident. Watch as Paul Ryan attempts to fit in with normal folk as if he wasn't actively trying to kill normal people by gutting medicaid. 

This is not going over well on the internet, as people are mortified at Paul Ryan's beer and the idea of him drinking it. Sure this is nit picky, but Paul Ryan suck, so whatever. Enjoy people making fun of this turd. 

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Via: Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Donald Trump lies all the time. He was practically elected to lie all the time. Sean Spicer is in danger of breaking a finger from air quoting the president's words all the time. Someone help this man and his poor finger.

Thankfully, detective Seth Meyers, private eye, took the time to pour over the news, write a few jokes, and get to the bottom of this mess that will soon be our lives. Watch him take on his bullshit healthcare bill, jobs report, and wiretapping claims, finally making Trump funny again... as oppose to just terrifying. 

Pat McCrory, the former North Carolina governor behind the state's infamous bathroom bill, is out of the job and can't find work. It's as if no one wants to hire a bigot because that's what he says people are saying. 

Apparently, poor old Pat is having a hard time find a job because universities are nervous about student protests. It's as if students don't want to pay the salary of a bigot. He'll have to look somewhere else for sympathy because after leading his state on a transphobic witch hunt for months, he refused to give up his seat after he lost his re-election bid. 

To add insult to injury, everyone's making fun of him on Twitter:

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