I joke, but secretly I'm just waiting for the funds to finance my Satyr reassignment surgery. I can't help it, it's who I am!

And by that I mean, "required copious amounts of coke to both produce and wear effectively."

Fast food is starting to look a like a much more appealing option...

The SS stands for "Super Stretchy," obviously. And the BBW is "Big Bangin' Wheels." Clearly. Duh.

Alternatively, you can re-enact your favorite Matrix scenes in the snow comfortably!

No wait, just another sighting of the ever-mysterious "front butt."

I mean, in the post-apocalyptic future where soda tabs are used as currency you're going to be able to buy a small nation with those things. Good work!