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news spite jerks funny children - 8281200384
Via Eater
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Apparently, after waiting in line in front of a careless mother and her screaming small child, a man who was having a bad day (and had a headache) decided to ruin that family's day: The child was screaming "I want f**king pie!" so the man bought up every last pie — all 23 of them — and walked out of the Burger King location, turning only to see the enraged mother and child, helpless as the cashier told them that the restaurant had just sold out of pie.

Now if this doesn't warm your heart, I don't know what will.

news-fail-condom-robbery-explosion
Via ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

funny-news-fail-snakes-wife-car
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Here's what the husband had to say in a Facebook post later:

WHOOPS!!! Note to self: Next time I have a 1.5m snake loose in my car, don't let my wife drive it. […]

A couple of days earlier I had a python escape from a bag (mistake no.1) inside my car and Nat knew this but had assumed I had found it again and I didn't tell her otherwise (Mistake no.2).

Last night I was sound asleep and I get a call from her saying "I just opened the door and there was a snake coming out from underneath the steering wheel in the dashboard". Whoops!!!!

My bad.