I Left My Party in Another Pair of Pants

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I Left My Party in Another Pair of Pants
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Space pants? Really? That's the worst one-liner I've heard since "toilet store."

Cutting the Red Wire

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Cutting the Red Wire
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In this analogy, the exploding bomb is the girl replying "Ewww, gross, you're a creepy schmuck and I award you two out of ten hottie points" and ignoring me. My bomb-ravaged body represents my self-esteem.

You're the Bono to my Africa

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You're the Bono to my Africa
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The sender must have been talking about the 2011 TV on the Radio single "You." She's got good taste!

Damn Gurl, Show Some Love

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Damn Gurl, Show Some Love
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AND she only used one "y." I'VE NEVER FELT SO INSULTED IN MY LIFE.

SmoothBot

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SmoothBot
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Slick. He's flirting even while admitting that he's doing it. Still, what kind of emergency system takes an hour to respond?