signs

I mean... it's not like I need it or anything.

Every day, people are offered the decision between working at the office and running away to live naked with the gorillas. Every day, at least 9 out of 10 people make the wrong choice.

If you feed him after midnight he'll just multiply exponentially until we're overrun with interns.

Though of course, if fat people avoid the stairs and take the elevator, wouldn't the fat get fatter and the fit get fitter?

Well, if you insist...

The only way to be more obvious is to hire a burly strongman (or -woman) to tackle you and rub your face with hand sanitizer before you leave the room.