resume

Is his resume printed on a napkin?

Qualifications

I constantly hunger for a challenge. I have a very cann-do attitude. I am a team player, and have experience spearheading team projects.

If that doesn't get you employed, what will?

As for the bajillion other potential excuses they could use, well... good luck with those!

"You're hired!!! When can you start?" "Sir, did you even read the rest of-" "I'll ask the questions here!"