email

It's good to know all is working! Thanks for wasting part of my life!

Apparently his name is Damon, and apparently he doesn't like me!

"Team, There is an issue in the Men's restroom located next to the [censored] account. Someone is marking the restroom wall, in the first closet stall, with feces in the shape of a swastika. This is the fourth time in the last year this act has been done. This is not only disgusting but it is a safety health issue. If caught you will be terminated as this is not a joke or funny in any way. If you know anything about this please let me know so we can address this issue ASAP."

You could have sent her a picture of Gary Busey.

Only important to you, my friend.

Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg CEO Facebook, Inc. Sent from my Nigeria office

Also known as the "Silent Tweetment."

"I believe it was so hot that it allowed me to temporarily gain the gift of human speech, seeing as I'm a frogman and all tha-ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit."