email

You could have sent her a picture of Gary Busey.

Actual email to actual employees.

It's good to know all is working! Thanks for wasting part of my life!

"I don't like what this person said, so I'll write all over it and prove my superiority on the internet!"

You win this round, me.

"However, if you take out a life insurance policy with us, you'll be good to go!"

Apparently his name is Damon, and apparently he doesn't like me!