oh god why

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Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."



Anyone who stops by The Big Texan can take the challenge, but if they don't finish their meal in an hour they have to pay $72.

Schuyler not only got the 3 free meals, but also a $5,000 prize… and apparently an extended trip to the bathroom.

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This took place at the Largada Fiesta del Surubi, a fishing tournament that takes place every year in Goya, Argentina. Gotta love the way those terror screams turn into nervous laughter at the end.

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The cruel overlord of food over at The Vulgar Chef calls it a "French Fry Burger Bomb" (because "the burger that f**ked your mom" didn't quite work). We just call it beautiful, delicious death.

pizza doritos oh god why Video g rated win - 8395020544
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The pizza is only available in Australia for now. If and when this thing ever hits the states, prepare for all of our health insurance premiums to rise.