oh god why

The mad scientist/insulin lobbyist who made this concoction apparently cooked up some butter and marshmallows in a saucepan before adding in the fruity pebbles in order to make the perfect cone.

It's got everything your favorite taco-inspired ice cream snack has, with one extra special ingredient...

If you live in Allouez, Wisconsin, you may have recently noticed a giant snow monster roaming the city streets with a poodle.

No, no one spiked your eggnog. This is all too real.

A woman calling herself "Bumble" has been spotted walking around the neighborhood dressed as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with her dog named Blizzard.

After images of the duo spread online, residents were all like WTF?

According to Fox 11:

When asked what she was doing walking the streets of Allouez, Bumble said she was visiting from Misfit Island.

She also said she is simply there to "bring joy, happiness."

But she forgot to mention "terror," and "confusion."

Yes, that is a Double Down (you know, the sandwich with chicken instead of bread) with a beef patty and bacon in the middle. Your heart valves just closed reading that sentence.

That feeling you're experiencing is "Pre-Munchies."

See it all starts off innocently enough with regular doughnut holes, and then things get crazy. Those are mini Oreos stuffed inside them - because they're "low-calorie", see? And then the kicker: a glaze made from the melted primordial ooze of oreo stuffing that's been delicately scraped off of existing cookies.

I'm so sorry, body. This needs to happen.