oh god why

epic-win-pic-waffle-cone-ice-cream-fruity-pebbles
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The mad scientist/insulin lobbyist who made this concoction apparently cooked up some butter and marshmallows in a saucepan before adding in the fruity pebbles in order to make the perfect cone.

shut up and take my money kfc oh god why food g rated win - 8357398528
Via Sploid
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Yes, that is a Double Down (you know, the sandwich with chicken instead of bread) with a beef patty and bacon in the middle. Your heart valves just closed reading that sentence.

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Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."



Anyone who stops by The Big Texan can take the challenge, but if they don't finish their meal in an hour they have to pay $72.

Schuyler not only got the 3 free meals, but also a $5,000 prize… and apparently an extended trip to the bathroom.

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This took place at the Largada Fiesta del Surubi, a fishing tournament that takes place every year in Goya, Argentina. Gotta love the way those terror screams turn into nervous laughter at the end.

uproxx Oreos oh god why food g rated win - 7704407552
Via Uproxx
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The proud nation-snack-state of Nabisco does not recognize "Moreos" as an official product as of yet, but in due time perhaps They'll recognize the genius of this and give it a go.

cheese pizza oh god why food g rated win - 8406395904
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From Elite Daily:

To make this insane pizza, di Francesco melts 94 cheeses from across the globe together in one pot and then chills the concoction to form a solid cheese block that is used as the pizza's base cheese.

Since 94 types of cheese could never be enough, he then tops the base with fior di latte, buffalo mozzarella, goat cheese, ricotta and some shaved raspadura for good measure.