oh god why

Some genius/devil/crazy person over at Pillsbury has a recipe for making this pie-cake-cheese-meat monstrosity. If you have the right stuff, go for it!

The proud nation-snack-state of Nabisco does not recognize "Moreos" as an official product as of yet, but in due time perhaps They'll recognize the genius of this and give it a go.

The cruel overlord of food over at The Vulgar Chef calls it a "French Fry Burger Bomb" (because "the burger that f**ked your mom" didn't quite work). We just call it beautiful, delicious death.

Your palms are now sweating.

If you live in Allouez, Wisconsin, you may have recently noticed a giant snow monster roaming the city streets with a poodle.

No, no one spiked your eggnog. This is all too real.

A woman calling herself "Bumble" has been spotted walking around the neighborhood dressed as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with her dog named Blizzard.

After images of the duo spread online, residents were all like WTF?

According to Fox 11:

When asked what she was doing walking the streets of Allouez, Bumble said she was visiting from Misfit Island.

She also said she is simply there to "bring joy, happiness."

But she forgot to mention "terror," and "confusion."

If you're in the New York area, you can pick up these bad boys at Sticky's Finger Joint. 

See it all starts off innocently enough with regular doughnut holes, and then things get crazy. Those are mini Oreos stuffed inside them - because they're "low-calorie", see? And then the kicker: a glaze made from the melted primordial ooze of oreo stuffing that's been delicately scraped off of existing cookies.

I'm so sorry, body. This needs to happen.

The pizza is only available in Australia for now. If and when this thing ever hits the states, prepare for all of our health insurance premiums to rise.