oh god why

The proud nation-snack-state of Nabisco does not recognize "Moreos" as an official product as of yet, but in due time perhaps They'll recognize the genius of this and give it a go.

This delightful monstrosity is available at The Carving Board in Los Angeles. Worth it? Worth it.

That feeling you're experiencing is "Pre-Munchies."

Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."

If you live in Allouez, Wisconsin, you may have recently noticed a giant snow monster roaming the city streets with a poodle.

No, no one spiked your eggnog. This is all too real.

A woman calling herself "Bumble" has been spotted walking around the neighborhood dressed as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with her dog named Blizzard.

After images of the duo spread online, residents were all like WTF?

According to Fox 11:

When asked what she was doing walking the streets of Allouez, Bumble said she was visiting from Misfit Island.

She also said she is simply there to "bring joy, happiness."

But she forgot to mention "terror," and "confusion."

Some genius/devil/crazy person over at Pillsbury has a recipe for making this pie-cake-cheese-meat monstrosity. If you have the right stuff, go for it!

Yes, that is a Double Down (you know, the sandwich with chicken instead of bread) with a beef patty and bacon in the middle. Your heart valves just closed reading that sentence.