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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Employee gets punished for being great at his job, so he decides to stop trying at all: 'Even though I performed my duties better than the others in my department, I was effectively punished for being so good.'
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Man leaves brother's landscaping company after years of being underpaid, later warns prospective business partner about secret plan to absorb his clients and equipment: 'Family members think i betrayed my brother'
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Volunteer refuses to come back after being bossed around, given no water, no bathroom breaks, and nearly having her phone confiscated, gets emails a year later telling her she needs to be a better team player
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Girlfriend making $15/hour secretly buys an $800/month truck with her dad, texts her boyfriend after signing, destroying their apartment plans in one morning
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Roommate leaves for summer internship, subleases room for $1,650 without consulting housemates, leaves 2-week gap at end of contract and expects them to cover the rent: 'I'm subsidizing your rent'
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