fast food

Finally, something to match your KFC keyboard!

Vote for Pedro!

It's your sucky day! (Ed: Sorry).

the folks at McDonald's hear you. Wnat all-day breakfast? Boom. Here's a McMuffin at 7:23pm. Want a smaller Big Mac? Boom. Buh-bye middle bread. You want a McRib? Sorry, you've got to wait for pork prices to plummet again. 

But one thing's for sure, they know that you're having a hard time with that Shamrock shake. And because McDonald's love you, they've hirded the team behind Google's modular smartphone Project Ara to produce S.T.R.A.W (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal). 



What's the difference between S.T.R.A.W. and straw? McDonald's new over-engineered bad bou comes with a hooked end and fore holes, which were designed specifically to allow people to finally taste their thicker than thick Chocolate Shamrock Shake. 

However, this project is a bit of a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket: S.T.R.A.W. is only availbable in 80 cities and limited to 2,000. 

It really is your sucky day. 

When an Illinois couple had their wedding announcement printed in a local paper, the fast food giant was quick to hop on social media and find the real couple in question:



A half-dozen puns about the "whopper" of an event later, Burger King tracked down the couple and offered to pay for the entire wedding and provide gifts! You can see their ecstatic reaction from their interview here:



Meanwhile, every single McDonald in the nation is starting to feel like they've been stiffed, and our friend Wendy was unavailable for comment.