Dude, seriously? Aren't you worried about your dog or even the plethora of flammable chemicals you're throwing sparks at? There's a fine line between kludging and wanton disregard for safety, this is definitely the latter.
From the submitter:
Pulled up the the gas station in Leadington, MO next to this guy. Sadly enough, this was nothing out of the ordinary in this part of Missouri.
The hulk's first attempt at bike theft was a complete failure. ~Not-So-Handy Andy
I think that club is a lost cause buddy...