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Probably The Best Use For a Chastity Belt

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You Don't Get Much More Secure Than This

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Much Better Than the Flimsy Chain it Came With

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Welcome!

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Caddy Kick-Stand

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Sears Product Security Systems

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Too Much is Never Enough

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That is En-tire-ly Unnecessary

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The Sad Tale of the Near-Sighted Peeping Tom

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"Alright Man, Just Smash the Front Window and Grab the Goods!"

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16-Bit Encrypted System

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That Should Keep Them Out

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Dead Dolt

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A Metaphor for our Television Addiction

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Rollin' on Pizza Boxes

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Someday, Lock and Antenna Will Be Together