You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You had to attempt to combine the world's greatest game with a world's greatest food. You flew too close to the sun, my friend.
Dude, seriously? Aren't you worried about your dog or even the plethora of flammable chemicals you're throwing sparks at? There's a fine line between kludging and wanton disregard for safety, this is definitely the latter.
From the submitter:
So you have a ceiling fan in a room with a cathedral ceiling that needs a light bulb and no ladder available. Using a broom stick, an empty pill bottle, a hair scrunchy, a large chef's knife, and some duct tape you can build Bulb Changing Tool 5000. Simply cut a series 1-1/2" long slits lengthwise starting at the open end of the pill bottle to make a collapseable bulb holder. Wrap the hair scrunchy around the pill bottle to enable a nice grippy action. Punch a hole in the bottom of the pill bottle.