Witty wisecracks about your work life are essential to shift survival

Don't mess with these people: they've got some quick and witty comebacks. When your friends are messing with you or a stranger is shouting at you, that's the time to come up with a witty reply . That's a lot easier said than done. It must be a universal experience to have nothing to say in that moment, then six hours later while you're in the shower, you suddenly think of the perfect comeback. But then it's too late! That's why it's extra satisfying when you do come up with a hilarious response…

So, you finally landed a job—congrats! You've done a few days of training already and now you're ready to get into the nitty gritty of it. But, oh wait, what's this? You aren't on the schedule… You ask again and again when you're working, and nothing. Then they slap you with the “not on the schedule for multiple weeks.” Unfortunately, this is all too familiar a situation in careers like customer service and retail. One retail employee recently took to Reddit in the midst of confusion when she w…

You'll never be appreciated in a toxic workplace until you're gone. Even then, instead of being grateful for everything you've done, they'll take to blaming you for all their own mistakes the moment you're out the door, making you a scapegoat for their own mistakes and incompetence. The problem is the remaining coworkers and friends you left behind in that toxic environment will keep their mouths shut for fear of drawing unnecessary attention to themselves, leaving your name tarnished and yours…

Every member of a team brings with them their own unique traits, abilities, and experiences. No two people will be exactly the same or have the same perspective. Even on a single issue, it's surprising just how different different people's perceptions of that thing can be. In this same vein, it's important to accommodate other members of the team ; maybe they don't have the skills or even physical capabilities that you do, so it might make sense for you to pick up more of those tasks that you'r…

Money matters. Whether you're a blue collar tradesman, a desk jockey, a white collar C-level boss, or a preschool teacher, we all need to get cash in order to live our lives. Anyone who has a job these days has felt the hot breath of capitalism breathing down their necks for quite some time now, but recently, a lot of employees are feeling the added pressure of...

There's a tendency within organizations as they grow and expand to slowly erode the perks that made working there great, which made the early stages of the company successful in the first place. But when you have ten employees offering comprehensive benefits, it creates a far smaller total number than when you have 100. At some point, the owners or some executives are going to notice this number and put all benefits on the chopping block so that they can pocket that extra profit or qualify them…

We live in a society where hourly employees are punished for working faster than their counterparts, often being rewarded with more work for the same pay. So what compels hardworking employees to go above and beyond? Not much.

It's pretty confusing when your employer is losing workers faster than it can replace them and doesn't seem at all phased. Sometimes, you can chalk this up to general incompetence. Still, it's more likely that there are over-inflated egos involved, with key members of the company refusing even to consider that they, their policies, and the way they treat workers might be the problem. Other executives and HR play along, worried that if they acknowledge the situation, the entire company might imp…

Some bosses don't trust their employees to work remotely, even when it's a necessity. This is especially true if the boss is a micromanager. They can't stand to let their employees have any autonomy over their days. If they let their workers do their jobs remotely, how will they know if their employees are actually working? Sure, they might get all their work done (or even be extra productive!), but if the boss can't make sure they're working exactly eight hours, they won't like the remote-work…

Snow days are a lot of fun when you're a kid, but less so as an adult. As a kid, you may get to skip school and spend all day building snowmen and sledding down snowy hills with your friends. But as an adult, a snowy day means you'll have to shovel out your car and head to work on slippery roads.

“It's just business,” people (often your boss) love to spout… and it always is until it's personal. You can rest assured that anyone using this canned clamshell phrasing is probably using this to dismiss situations where they're exploiting you and are going to take it very personally should things one day not go their way. It's the same sort of tactic that is used when you're told by a notoriously toxic employer that “We're all a family here.” The hope is that you'll buy into the thin words the…

Meddling pedantic coworkers who consider them to be a step above the rabble, despite being in exactly the same position as this “rabble," are a one-way ticket to a hellish workplace. The problem is that managers usually leave these busybody coworkers alone and may even regard them as proficient workers because they're making the manager's life easier by doing their dirty work for them. To be fair, the managers are also probably afraid of these people, seeing as they usually memorize the technic…

Some points in your career give you a sudden moment of clarity.

Nobody wants to disappoint their parents– especially their mothers. In fact, it was ingrained deep into our psyche at an early age that when our parents got mad at us, that was sort of okay, but if they were disappointed in our rebellious behavior, there was no greater pain on Earth. Obviously as we all grew up and moved out of the house, we became accustomed to our own illicit activities, but mom doesn't need to know what we do with our spare time or what vices we hide under our pillows.

Hiring for a position as a regular manager is an exhaustive process, draining your time and resources, so it's really hard to imagine something like this ever happening with a manager who is concerned about their own time. But, there are those within certain organizations whose job it is to recruit full-time, and these recruiters and certain members of HR constantly scout and search for strong talent even if the organization really doesn't need them. This works in large corporations that are li…