the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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Stubborn salesman denies warehouse manager credit card for fuel, delivery truck runs out of diesel and breaks down mid-route, causing major delays and repair costs, salesman never withholds card again: 'He decided 1/8th of a tank was perfectly adequate'

Stubborn salesman denies warehouse manager credit card for fuel, delivery truck runs out of diesel and breaks down mid-route, causing major delays and repair costs, salesman never withholds card again: 'He decided 1/8th of a tank was perfectly adequate'

Boss takes credit for team's work on a big presentation, only to be publicly reprimanded by his own boss when he fails to present the data properly: ‘Classic corporate leadership’

Boss takes credit for team's work on a big presentation, only to be publicly reprimanded by his own boss when he fails to present the data properly: ‘Classic corporate leadership’

24-year-old refuses to risk her career for her reckless brother, standing her ground against her parents’ pressure: ‘He’s 28 and literally is the most careless person in this world’

24-year-old refuses to risk her career for her reckless brother, standing her ground against her parents’ pressure: ‘He’s 28 and literally is the most careless person in this world’

20+ Managers who had to fire their worst employees: 'He left with over $4,000 from the cash register'

20+ Managers who had to fire their worst employees: 'He left with over $4,000 from the cash register'

A Midday Lunch of 24 Brown-Bagged Funnies to Get You Through the Workday (October 20, 2025)

A Midday Lunch of 24 Brown-Bagged Funnies to Get You Through the Workday (October 20, 2025)

Entitled customer books hotel reservation with an invalid credit card, then throws a fit when the front desk employee cancels their reservation: ‘We aren't a charity, we are a business’

Entitled customer books hotel reservation with an invalid credit card, then throws a fit when the front desk employee cancels their reservation: ‘We aren't a charity, we are a business’