the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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58-year-old essential employee gets laid off 1 year before retiring, entire team quits out of loyalty, HR begs them to come back for double their original pay: 'I'll come back for 13 weeks'

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16-year-old abruptly kicked out by father with just $20 and no support for "talking back", spends days homeless before friend shelters him, he is eventually fetched by his father, but struggles with forgiveness years later: 'I've never healed from this'

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HR announces in-person office policy to fully remote team, sparking mass exodus: '[I] sent my resignation letter right there!'

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10+ year employee stands up to entitled CEO who demands huge project be completed before vacation: 'You want me to resign? Good luck without me!'

10+ year employee stands up to entitled CEO who demands huge project be completed before vacation: 'You want me to resign? Good luck without me!'