the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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Job candidate logs onto Zoom interview early and overhears that an offer has already been made, proceeds to call them out: 'Hey guys, just so you know, I can hear you!'

Job candidate logs onto Zoom interview early and overhears that an offer has already been made, proceeds to call them out: 'Hey guys, just so you know, I can hear you!'

Dad pulls 15-year-old daughter out of gymnastics against his wife's wishes in order to protect her when he discovers why she wants to leave the sport: 'She is a sophomore in High school and wants to stop competing'

Dad pulls 15-year-old daughter out of gymnastics against his wife's wishes in order to protect her when he discovers why she wants to leave the sport: 'She is a sophomore in High school and wants to stop competing'

'They fired me and want free labor': Marketing employee is laid off due to budget cuts, their boss expects them to train their replacement for 2 months unpaid

'They fired me and want free labor': Marketing employee is laid off due to budget cuts, their boss expects them to train their replacement for 2 months unpaid

Grocery store manager treats employee like enemy #1 for no reason, so he secretly quits mid-shift and leaves her hanging: 'I didn't have to tolerate being talked to like that.'

Grocery store manager treats employee like enemy #1 for no reason, so he secretly quits mid-shift and leaves her hanging: 'I didn't have to tolerate being talked to like that.'

‘I got reverse scammed’: Contractor builds new chicken coop for homeowner, then disappears without getting paid, homeowner spends months trying to find him

‘I got reverse scammed’: Contractor builds new chicken coop for homeowner, then disappears without getting paid, homeowner spends months trying to find him

Boss demands lab employees provide testing reports earlier in the day, they warn him that the data won't be complete, his insistence leads to more work for him: ‘He can't figure it out’

Boss demands lab employees provide testing reports earlier in the day, they warn him that the data won't be complete, his insistence leads to more work for him: ‘He can't figure it out’