the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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Architect reprimanded for making daughter’s birthday invitation on work laptop, so she refused to use personal phone for on-site job photos, forcing boss to buy her company Samsung and pay for entire second trip to the site: 'I doubled all the expenses'

Architect reprimanded for making daughter’s birthday invitation on work laptop, so she refused to use personal phone for on-site job photos, forcing boss to buy her company Samsung and pay for entire second trip to the site: 'I doubled all the expenses'

Employee gets fired 2 weeks after her wedding because her company doesn't want to add her spouse to her insurance: 'Friday morning, my performance was fantastic, I was getting praised, how would I suddenly be fired for my performance on Monday afternoon?'

Employee gets fired 2 weeks after her wedding because her company doesn't want to add her spouse to her insurance: 'Friday morning, my performance was fantastic, I was getting praised, how would I suddenly be fired for my performance on Monday afternoon?'

21-year-old employee avoids boss's demands to shovel snow: 'I had already planned not to go... because it wasn't my job'

21-year-old employee avoids boss's demands to shovel snow: 'I had already planned not to go... because it wasn't my job'

CEO demands to be CC'd on every email sent within the company, only for their inbox to be flooded when HR sends a personalized email to every employee: ‘They caused their own email apocalypse’

CEO demands to be CC'd on every email sent within the company, only for their inbox to be flooded when HR sends a personalized email to every employee: ‘They caused their own email apocalypse’

Brother moves every 6 months at most, always expects free help, and finally gets refused when his sibling chooses not to play free mover for hire: ‘Every time he moves, he expects me to help pack, carry heavy furniture, and drive the rental truck.’

Brother moves every 6 months at most, always expects free help, and finally gets refused when his sibling chooses not to play free mover for hire: ‘Every time he moves, he expects me to help pack, carry heavy furniture, and drive the rental truck.’

Management forced employee to stick to 8:00-16:00 "core hours” and pre-approved OT, she complies, proving that her new schedule harms work-flow and production: 'Flexibility would no longer be available'

Management forced employee to stick to 8:00-16:00 "core hours” and pre-approved OT, she complies, proving that her new schedule harms work-flow and production: 'Flexibility would no longer be available'