the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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Temp employee works until 3:00 AM, asks if he can finish work from home, boss refuses, sparking malicious compliance: 'Temps are not allowed to work from home'

Temp employee works until 3:00 AM, asks if he can finish work from home, boss refuses, sparking malicious compliance: 'Temps are not allowed to work from home'

Employee gets fired and replaced by younger, cheaper new hire, she lasts 3 weeks at the company: 'Now the company’s back to square one, scrambling to rehire'

Employee gets fired and replaced by younger, cheaper new hire, she lasts 3 weeks at the company: 'Now the company’s back to square one, scrambling to rehire'

‘Family does not mean free labor': Younger sister finally stands up to her parents and older sister when she refuses to cancel her vacation to watch her nieces and nephews

‘Family does not mean free labor': Younger sister finally stands up to her parents and older sister when she refuses to cancel her vacation to watch her nieces and nephews

‘I want a week of free nights and a written apology!’: Hotel guest loses it on staff after her reservation gets cancelled for lacking a credit card

‘I want a week of free nights and a written apology!’: Hotel guest loses it on staff after her reservation gets cancelled for lacking a credit card

'Delete anyone who doesn’t use it daily': IT developer maliciously complies with manager’s demand to restrict coworkers' portal access, after being blamed by multiple employees for being removed, he locks manager out of portal for not meeting requirements

'Delete anyone who doesn’t use it daily': IT developer maliciously complies with manager’s demand to restrict coworkers' portal access, after being blamed by multiple employees for being removed, he locks manager out of portal for not meeting requirements

Entitled high school students refuse to help teammate with their group science project, teammate decides they would rather fail than do the project alone: ‘The most satisfying failing grade in my entire life’

Entitled high school students refuse to help teammate with their group science project, teammate decides they would rather fail than do the project alone: ‘The most satisfying failing grade in my entire life’