the onion

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It Almost Makes You Think About the Penitentary System or Something

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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Flying Just Isn't the Same These Days

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The Hard Body, the Hot Blood, and the Holy Spirit

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We All Have Our Own Personal Gorillas to Deal With

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This is One of Those Onion Headlines That's too Close to True

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We Also Didn't Think People Could be This Dumb

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The Lombardi Trophy of Broken Dreams

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Sometimes True, Sometimes False, Always a Fail

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These Geniuses Finally Have Woody Allen by the Short Hairs

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Yes, He's Stupid... And He's Not the Only One...

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Hobbits Are Real U Guis!

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Another Victim of The Onion

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More Dangerous Than Ever Imagined

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Perfect Timeline Placement

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The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office

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Small business owner locks the adjacent daycare out of his parking lot after the manager of the daycare has his car towed for parking in theirs, causing chaos the next day when parents try to drop off their kids: 'I tell you the mayhem was well worth it'

Small business owner locks the adjacent daycare out of his parking lot after the manager of the daycare has his car towed for parking in theirs, causing chaos the next day when parents try to drop off their kids: 'I tell you the mayhem was well worth it'

50-year-old tries "quiet quitting" after achieving mid-level management goals, ends up quadrupling net worth: 'Focus on [the] minimum amount of work [and] delegate everything you possibly can'

50-year-old tries "quiet quitting" after achieving mid-level management goals, ends up quadrupling net worth: 'Focus on [the] minimum amount of work [and] delegate everything you possibly can'

Senior designer quits over 6 years of denied raises, refuses boss's demand to train less-experienced replacement when discovering she's earning $20K more than her salary for the same job: 'Willing to pay new employee significantly more than a loyal one'

Senior designer quits over 6 years of denied raises, refuses boss's demand to train less-experienced replacement when discovering she's earning $20K more than her salary for the same job: 'Willing to pay new employee significantly more than a loyal one'

UPDATE: Millionaire boss fires college student employee who has access to critical documents, employee demands 20x normal salary to provide the info: 'Well, boss... I'm not an employee'

UPDATE: Millionaire boss fires college student employee who has access to critical documents, employee demands 20x normal salary to provide the info: 'Well, boss... I'm not an employee'

Retail worker leaves mid-shift to go to the movies, complying with manager's strict overtime policy: 'I had hit 40 hours and had to leave'

Retail worker leaves mid-shift to go to the movies, complying with manager's strict overtime policy: 'I had hit 40 hours and had to leave'

Hiring manager demands candidate send a “thank-you video” to the team after their interview, candidate refuses: ‘That’s one way to filter out people with dignity’

Hiring manager demands candidate send a “thank-you video” to the team after their interview, candidate refuses: ‘That’s one way to filter out people with dignity’