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I Can Has Cheezburger?
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Nightshift security guard accused of stealing company electricity to charge his laptop, so he brings a typewriter to write his novel instead: 'It was never about the electricity'
Fired employee wins $17K after former law firm employer refuses to pay his earned commissions: ‘They thought they could rip me off $4k and turned into substantially more’
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Employee leaves job of 5 years with no fanfare, regrets spending years in a toxic environment: 'I left like a ghost'
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'She told me I was "erasing" her son's identity': New mom demands that everyone call newborn by his elaborate full name, considers limiting contact with 30-year-old brother for using nickname
Dad goes through 15-year-old son’s phone and finds out he has a PS5 at his mom’s house, he demands son bring it to his so his 6 stepsiblings can play too, son refuses: 'It’s going to get broken with 6 kids running around'
tales from tech support
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NFT grifter claims to sell NFT they bought for $425,000 in 2023 for $37,000, posts an AI-generated image of a "Rolex" they claim to own that isn't even a Rolex: 'I wasn't buying a jpeg—I was buying culture'
Brad Dickson
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Karen manager demands IT technician take business server offline during business hours, despite technician's protests, gets the order in writing before complying: ‘Within 15 minutes, the office was in chaos. The CFO stormed into my office’
Brad Dickson
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Mid-sized marketing firm outsources IT firing the single employee who had been there for 4 years, he gets a job paying $20k more: 'The first week after I left, their main server crashed. The outsourced company took 6 hours to respond, another 8 to fix it'
Brad Dickson
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Scapegoated IT admin gets blamed when client's employee retires and accidentally deletes their entire database: 'Welp, I'm retired now! Guess I'll delete everything'
Brad Dickson
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Marketing demands review of all technical documents, programmer creates a fake protocol to mess with them: '[It was] called the "TP Protocol." [I]t could be implemented as a 2 or 3-layer network, each layer called a "ply"'
Brad Dickson
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Employee complains to tech support about broken printer, IT guy discovers employee completely soaked it: 'I found pools of water in ridiculous places'
Ben Weiss
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Coworker tells on himself by complaining to CEO when IT guy deletes banned and inappropriate "personal" files off his work computer: 'He went to the CEO and complained'
Brad Dickson
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IT worker told to stop wasting time helping their coworkers, IT tickets get out of control when all the small problems are no longer getting fixed: 'Everyone was quietly enjoying the fact that Boss's ridiculous policy had backfired spectacularly'
Brad Dickson
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Boss demands IT engineer write "more words" on ticket resolutions, they begin writing a novel hidden in the reports: 'You're averaging well over a 1000 characters per ticket, keep it up!'
Brad Dickson
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Woman tells roommate she's going to charge him for any future IT help due to his "learned incompetence": '[He] just sits there and wait[s] for someone else to fix it'
Brad Dickson
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Coworker complains about tech support worker getting credit for their unfinished jobs, forced to finish them himself: 'So now, he’s doing twice, sometimes 3 times the work, all because he wanted full credit for partial results'
Brad Dickson
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Employee denied raise and told they're replaceable after becoming sole engineer on a project, costs the company big when they quit: '$500,000 and two years of productivity over a $40,000/yr raise'
Brad Dickson
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Developer embarrasses new boss and gets foolish "no overtime" policy overturned by adhering strictly to it: 'Well, it's 4:30. That's my 8 hours. I'll see you tomorrow'
Brad Dickson
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Software giant fires last developer capable of servicing $25M contract in short-sighted cost-cutting measure, he successfully negotiates $1M/yr consulting fees:'Never fire the last legacy knowledge guy...'
Brad Dickson
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HR refuses to give developer raise by downplaying their work, forced to eat their words when their software stops working
Brad Dickson
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Major client foolishly insists tech support delete all data, tech support refuses to comply saving the client's business: 'Their entire company basically shut down for an afternoon'
Brad Dickson
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