science

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We Can Stop Doing Science Now Because They're Running Cheese Through a 3D Printer

The seemingly endless pursuit of studying the natural world in hopes of understanding the world in a more meaningful way has come to an end. Irish researches have poured cheese into a 3D printer to make cool shapes, and, well, what's really the point anymore. 

At the University College, Cork in Ireland, scientists have poured processed cheese into a 3D printer, so they could make cool designs with it or something. Honestly, I have no idea what the purpose of this experiment was or whether it was successful, but there are now gifs like this:

Why does this exist? I'm not sure, and people on Twitter don't really get it either. 

cheese science - 1776901
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This world is filled with mystery, but we can close the book on one of them: Whether electructing a watermelon is awesome or not. 

As it turns out, yes, it is awesome. 

YouTubers The Backyard Scientists sent 20,000 volts of electricity into a watermelon and kablamo, instant awesome. Watch them use a small capacitor to "pink mist" below. 



via Sploid

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There are many unexplainined feature the universe, and while we pass them off to magic or just science we haven't figured out yet, many of the unexplained phenomeon could be proof of alternate realities. 

In this video, get a crash course on white multiple timelines, realities, and universes might be a thing, and then wonder if we're in the dumbest one of them. 

fail subway chicken not chicken
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They say you are what you eat. So if you're eating chicken from Subway, it turns out you are some sort of soy-filler byproduct?

According to a report from the CBC, some of Subway's chicken-based menu items contain less than 50 percent chicken DNA. The highest percentage was found in their oven-roasted chicken, which contained a whopping 53.6 percent chicken DNA. The real winner was the chicken strips, which contained 42.8 percent chicken. Cluck. 

via Subway

The other main component? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. I mean, soy. The other main ingredient is soy. 

Subway wasn't going to take this lying down. They told Mashable:

The accusations made by CBC Marketplace about the content of our chicken are absolutely false and misleading. Our chicken is 100% white meat with seasonings, marinated and delivered to our stores as a finished, cooked product.

We have advised them of our strong objections. We do not know how they produced such unreliable and factually incorrect data, but we are insisting on a full retraction. Producing high quality food for our customers is our highest priority. This report is wrong and it must be corrected.

Now the two are in a big game of chicken. 

Subway did their own invesitgation and found less than one percent of soy in their chicken product, while the CBC stands by their test results. They cited Robert Hanner, a biologist and associate director for the Canadian Barcode of Life Network at the University of Guelph in Ontari, who wrote, "DNA tests do not lie (especially when conducted multiple times), and anyone with access to a DNA laboratory could perform these tests."



Because Subway is doing their own secret study that backs up their claim that their chicken is chicken, it makes sense to be skeptical of their findings.

In the mean time, maybe try a veggie delight sub. Everyone knows that banana pepper is just a banana pepper... or is it. You know what? Maybe try an actual deli.  

H/T Mashable

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Despite the fact that science pretty much tells us that boys and girls have essentially the same brain functionality, there is a tendency to assume higher intelligence in males than females. Why is this stupid thing still a thing?

As this video from AsapSCIENCE reveals, a phenomenon known as the "Stereotype Threat" is the culprit. This leads parents being 2.5x more likely to Google "Is my son gifted?" than "Is my daughter gifted?" It has to do with socialization and the way we nurture children to go into STEM fields. 

But things are getting better. Check out this video for more. 

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Every good little girl and boy is going to want one of these this Christmas. Hoverbikes, which at this point is just a chair and handlebars attached to four drones, are unequivocally cool, even when this Russian company calls them "Hoversurf."

This is designed to be an "extreme sports" vehicle, a type of flying motocross bike thing. But I'm still waiting for something more like this: 



via Frinkiac

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Little Girl Bakes Up Poop-Shaped Brownies for Science Project and, Surprise, People Would Still Eat

Would you eat something if it looked like a big log of poopy?

As long as it wasn't an actual turd, I'm sure you're thinking, "Uh, yah, dude. I ain't picky."



One father decided to ask the community over on Imgur if they would eat his daughter's a science project, a batch of brownies shaped like poop to test if visuals effect food appeal. 

My Daughters Science Project.  She wanted to see if sight effected taste.

Turns out, at least on Imgur, they do not. People still want to eat the shit.

imgur poop science - 1575429
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win mcdonalds shamrock shake straw
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It's your sucky day! (Ed: Sorry).

The folks at McDonald's hear you. Want all-day breakfast? Boom. Here's a McMuffin at 7:23pm. Want a smaller Big Mac? Boom. Buh-bye middle bread. You want a McRib? Sorry, you've got to wait for pork prices to plummet again

But one thing's for sure, they know that you're having a hard time with that Shamrock Shake, especially that new one with chocolate in it or something. And because McDonald's loves you, they've hired the team behind Google's modular smartphone Project Ara to produce S.T.R.A.W. (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal). 

via GIPHY

What's the difference between S.T.R.A.W. and straw? McDonald's new over-engineered bad bou comes with a hooked end and fore holes, which were designed specifically to allow people to finally taste their thicker than thick Chocolate Shamrock Shake. 

However, this project is a bit of a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket: S.T.R.A.W. is only available in 80 cities and limited to 2,000. 

It really is your sucky day. 

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The fine folks at AsapSCIENCE, for no reason whatsoever, released a new video yesterday on what would happen if a nuclear bomb dropped near you.

Be clear: This has absolutely nothing to do with scientists moving the Doomsday Clock thirty seconds forward

via Fox



Or that the reality-TV gameshow host is kind of obsessed with the power of the bomb.

Or that former Soviet Union President Mikhail Gorbachev saying "It all looks as if the world is preparing for war."

Or that there's a new nuclear arms race.

Nope, they just posted it so we know what happens in the event of a nuclear explosion. 

But they did also post this video of what to do to survive nuclear war

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Everyone likes the smell of their own brand. 

You've probably heard that one before, when you were ripping a real stinker in the car and rolling the windows up because you're a sadist. 

via GIPHY

But why do you like torturing innocent bystanders of your disgusting gas? Honestly, being subjected to your farts should be considered torture. Liking your farts is akin to waterboarding. You're a war criminal. You and your farts should sit before an international tribunal. 

Yes, you. 

Anyway, this video explains why you're such a sicko. ASAP Science continues to do great work in under five minutes. 

via The Real Sporcle

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Look sometimes you just want to see if something will melt. It’s a similar impulse to seeing if something can be crushed or broken when dropped from great heights. Bascially, we all like a little destruction in our lives.

And this is one of the most satisfying bits of destruction you’re likely to see today.

The YouTube channel Beyond the Press brought a “super sized red hot nickel ball thing” and dropped it on a frozen lake. The ball, essentially, melts the shit out of the lake before disappearing into the icy water below.

Here’s a teaser:



via Sploid

science fail vampire bats feed on human now
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As if there weren’t enough to worry about this year, vampire bats, the bats with the scariest name in the animal kingdom, have developed a taste for human blood. Yes, human blood. If you’re reading this and are human, that should rock you to your core.

According to a report from New Scientist, researchers in Brazil found traces of human blood in vampire bats’ feces. They report:

“Enrico Bernard from the Federal University of Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil, and his team analysed 70 faeces samples from a colony of hairy-legged vampire bats, D. ecaudata, living in Catimbau National Park in north-east Brazil.

“They found that three samples out of the 15 they managed to get DNA from had traces of blood from humans. ‘We were quite surprised,” says Bernard. “This species isn’t adapted to feed on the blood of mammals.’”

via Shutter

The article goes on to say that vampire bats usually feed on birds, but due to human encroachment, they may have started moving on to most dangerous game… HUMAN. 

Well, 2017 is off to a great start.

asteroid almost hits earth
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Not sure if this is good news or bad news, but an asteroid breezed past Earth this week, two days after it was discovered. That giant space rock so many of you voted for almost happened.

According to TIME, “The space rock, which is officially called 2017 AG13, flew between Earth and the moon Monday about 8 a.m. EST.”The object came “within half the distance of the moon.” Talk about a case of the Mondays! Am I right???

Now, speaking seriously, considering all that we have going on in the world, is this good news or bad news? You decide.

via Imgur