reality

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.

"Why can't I put a coherent sentence together? She thinks I'm an idiot!"

"Could I be any less interesting? It's a wonder I haven't put him to sleep yet!"

First I'm gonna down, like, six beers. Then I'm gonna go on Facebook and look at all the party pictures people have taken and feel like a loser, and then realize that my facebook news feed is a misrepresentation of reality because it only broadcasts peoples' most memorable moments thus creating the illusion that everyone else is partying and living it up and YOLOing 24/7 except for me! Yeah, that's right!

1) Get wasted 2) Transcend space and time 3) ???? 4) PROFIT!!!!