poop

This whole situation just really stinks.

A New Jersey man is facing charges after wiping a police summons "between his butt cheeks" and throwing it at an officer.

The 45-year-old man is reportedly facing a felony for purposely causing the officer to come in contact with bodily fluids during the incident this summer.

The indictment alleges that the man threw the summons in the direction of the officer after "placing it between his butt cheeks" and "wiping the paper in an upward and downward motion."

Dang, Jersey man. You're giving Florida man a run for his money.

This one really stinks.

UFC star Urijah Faber had a very eventful party after a woman stormed into his house, locked herself in his bathroom and pooped everywhere.

Faber was entertaining guests at his Sacramento home where he captured the entire event on Snapchat. The police eventually showed up and escorted the very stinky woman away.

If there was one good thing from this tale, it was this: Faber made some new friends.

Hey you, yeah you, your poops are terrible. 

At least according to the folks behind Squatty Potty. Their latest video explains that your stance on the porcelain throne is causing muscle strain in your b-hole region, making for terrible, difficult poops. But(t) apparently, if you squat on the can, you'll make beautiful rainbow soft serve turds. See?

Seems legit.

And that's why you don't visit the Chili Festival before a scheduled fight, kids.