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Dumbest Lies People's Parents Told Them

Parents tell their kids some pretty absurd lies. And it's not even like that's something bad parents do. There are so many mild but weird things we were told that we just ended up believing. Sure, there was the classic "it's illegal to turn on the light in the car" but there was so much more than that. There were long lost cousins, jokes we just never got and impossible rules. Sure, kids are kind of stupid and weird, but this one was more on the parents.

Lies peoples parents told them as kids
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Couple Has Wedding In Sign Language, Mom Can't Handle It

It seems like if you do most of your communicating in a particular language and you're planning your own event, it's well within your right to do that event in said language. And since most of their guests speak sign language anyway, the idea isn't so absurd. It seems like this mom isn't a huge fan of irony. It's reminiscent of this uncle who demanded a meat meal at a vegan wedding.

deaf couple has wedding in sign language and mom doesn't want that
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Extreme Examples of "Sink-or-Swim" Parenting

Most every parent wants to teach their kid to be self sufficient, but there's a lot of disagreement on how to get there. Some parents opt for the "tell my child to tie their shoes without telling them how" approach and needless to say, there are mixed results. Making your kid try something and fail at it is a way to make them learn, but most parents would agree it's usually better to set them up with situations where failure doesn't mean death. Traumatizing your kids may come to bite you in the end when it comes to the dumbest things people had to convince their parents not to do.

stories of brutal ways parents tried teaching kids
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Things from People's Childhoods They Later Realized Were Weird

Everybody's family is a little weird in some way, but as a kid, you don't know any better. This leads to most of us having an awkward moment later on with friends, a scene along the lines of "hold on, not everyone's family has one day of the month where their dad eats as many cans of tuna as possible and then comes over and breathes on everyone?" or "wait a second, my mom always told me the blue parking spaces up front were for people in the very busy mom club?" Life is full of discovery. At least it's a little better than people later realizing something was illegal.

things from people's childhoods that were later discovered to be weird
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Parents and Their "I Just Looked Away For a Second" Moments

Oh, the unparalleled panic of losing your kid at the store. It's common knowledge that kids are weird and dumb, and as it stands they shouldn't be trusted. Look away for a second and they're off trying to drink toilet water or join a new family. Sure, we eventually grow to resent the illogical things our parents do, but for a real long time it's you being the idiot.

parents stories of looking away for a second as their kid does something bad
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Parents of Ugly Babies Share What That's Like

We knew kids were weird and stupid already, but for a decent amount of time they're also ugly too. It's true that none of us would look too great if we had soft heads that just got pushed through a human being like a play-dough fun factory, but it's kind of a toss-up how different people take it. They're not supposed to look great when they're fresh anyway. Life is weird like that. You're born into this world and it's just a matter of time before you start realizing all the illogical things your parents do.

parents of ugly babies explaining their experience
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Parenting Memes For The Always Exhausted

Being responsible for the continued existence of multiple human lives is an undeniable hassle. Few of us are even that prepared to look after ourselves, so throwing in a few more mortal entities into the cauldron of life isn't gonna make things run more smoothly. Here's to zero sleep and parenting memes for the perpetually stressed.

funny memes about parenting, kids and families
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Entitled Mom Brings Kid To Daycare With Tablet, Gets Booted

Every parent has a different way of parenting, but that doesn't really fly when it comes to dropping off your kids at a daycare business. This lady tried to undermine the rules and it got her the boot. Hopefully that kid will one day learn to exist without a tablet. For another entitled parent moment, here's a parent who blamed the teacher for their own kid not showing up to virtual class.

entitled mom lets kid have tablet at daycare and gets kicked out | r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/porosisr 14 hours ago O 18 17 S 15 E 16 2 AITA not changing my rules and terminating care have home daycare like think pretty lenient but do have one big rule: Don't make bad guy understand might have different rules but don't make child resent by not backing dn Anyway, another rule is don't allow outside toys or electronics. Kids can bring stuffed animals nap if they're sleeping on rest mats but don't
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Children Of Horrible Cooks Share Their Pain

Many of us grew up with less than stellar cooks at the helms of our households, and we bear the scars of the past. Cooking isn't intuitive, and more often than not a rushed parent just needs to get something on the table, even if it will become a negative memory. Some of us still don't eat certain things because we lived in a world of bone-dry chicken and boiled broccoli for years. For some other garbage tasting experiences, here are the worst things people tasted.

stories of people whos parents were bad cooks | Posted by u/KnowNothingOfJavert 14 hours ago 5 3 e S is most horrifying thing parents did food? Every time my dad grills hamburgers, he doesn't season patties at all, squeezes all juice out them, and then wayyyyyy overcooks them end result is weird, dry, falling apart, dark gray hockey puck love him but his burgers are something else!
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Parents Keep Adult Son's Paycheck and Offer Him an Allowance

This person is wondering if they're right to help their daughter's boyfriend, whose parents take his earnings and offer him back an allowance of a hundred bucks a week. That sounds kinda like a crime, right? Especially for someone who's not even legally a child anymore. For another frustrating and wild parent encounter, here's a parent who blames their teacher for their kid not being in virtual class.

Parent helps daughter's boyfriend get out of crazy parent financial situation | r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/HUGO_4815162342 AITA helping my daughter's boyfriend against his parents wishes? Long story short, am asshole giving my daughter's boyfriend his portion money he needed them move into an apartment together, against his parents wishes? His parents are majorly pissed because gave him money, because they didn't want him move with my daughter. He is 22 years
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Mom Tells Nanny Not To Parent Her Kids, Regrets It

Working in a stressful environment is bad enough. But when a client comes and and says that you shouldn't even try to take control of the situation? That's when it's about time to truly throw the reigns off and let them know what they've just asked you to do. Here are more times people said "I don't get paid enough for this."

mom doesn't want nanny parenting kids, so nanny lets them destroy the place | Posted by u/RoseGoldFiend Don't try parent my children! oC S nanny small agency and love my job so much. Except dont yesterday took care 4 year old girl 2 year old boy, and 5 month old boy there yesterday and know kids at this age have enough energy make world stop spinning and they tend not listen but damn these kids were TERRIBLE. No control themselves at all. There paint on my
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Times Students' Parents Obviously Did Their Work

Sometimes people think it's the students that ae the most challenging part of a teacher's job. That's only true most of the time. It can actually be the parents trying to interfere too much with their kid's education. Sometimes a teacher can just look at a finished project and go, "looks like dad did a great job." Sometimes it goes the other way. Sometimes teachers have no faith in students but they succeed anyway, like this student who won an art contest to spite their rude teacher.

Stories of times parents obviously did their kid's school projects | Departure_Jaded 689 points 11 hours ago His dad accidentally wrote his own name on paper tortured kid week by calling him by his dad's name. Ah good times.
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Parents Tweeting the Weird Names Their Kids Call Things

Parents are fully aware that kids can be a real mixed bag. Sometimes kids are weird and dumb, and other times kids can be too smart for their own good. Here are tweets of parents who found their kids sayings for existing places and things that were either wildly inaccurate or strangely too accurate.

Tweets from parents about the strange and funny names their kids have for things | Broken Puppet @java_assassin My daughter just called cemetery person garden not even sure she thinks is happening there. 1:52 PM Jun 18, 2020 3K 663 people are Tweetin
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Son Discovers Mom Lied About Allergies to Keep Him on Strict Diet

Modern life gives us a huge amount of liberty over our diets, and some diets are definitely more healthy than others. Often parents are trying to keep their kids safe and healthy as best they can, but it seems like lying to your kid about a life-threatening allergy isn't the right way to go about it. It's kinda reminiscent of these vegans who were called fake because they feed their cat meat. Sometimes the exact opposite of this happens, like when this Tumblr user realized they actually had allergies.

Mom kept son on strict diet by telling him he had allergies his whole life | Posted by u/TroubleInGluten 3 days ago AITA going no-contact with my parents after learning they had lied about my allergies all my life? Not hole Hey everyone am 19 years old and my parents are their 50s as long as can remember have been allergic several things: Dairy Wheat/Flour/Gluten Legumes
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Factors People Didn't Anticipate about Adulthood

Adult life is a bit of a surprise to everybody. There are things that you expected but still don't enjoy, like paying bills. Then there are other strange things that are hard to expect, like the childishness of other adults, and the realities of dusting. It starts with your first encounter with total BS and just keeps sliding from there. Here are some adult life equivalents of calling the teacher mom.

Things people didn't expect about being an adult | Chaseybabe 19.9k points 12 hours ago many adults actually dislike younger thought my parents liked all our neighbours, all my teachers, all my coaches, etc since found out they thought most people were morons kind like do.
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Twitter Thread: Pressing Questions From A Six-Year-Old At Bedtime

Kate Bowler shared a thread on many of the ridiculous, burning questions that her six-year-old asks at bedtime. The mind of a kid is a curious thing, filled with wonder, and apt to ask the rest of the world the kinds of questions that we often don't have an answer for. Cause they're complete nonsense, as we know it. 

If you're looking for more hilariously strange moments from kids, check out these funny moments of kids being weird and stupid.

Parent shares hilarious Twitter thread about the ridiculous things their kid says before bedtime | Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 3 Boy: Okay mom. Goodnight. Mom, why do have so much hair? Okay, night. Why is hair made cylinders? MOM want learn cord-on cordial? ACCORDION GOES LIKE THIS [frantically mimes accordion playing] MOM COME BACK ACCORDIONS ARE MADE BEES
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