octopus
Drop into an Octopus's garden in the shade. Though it might take ten tickles to make an octopus laugh, you'll have a much easier time with these cephalopod puns and jokes.
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Man refuses to continue supporting 60-year-old mother after 18 months of doing so, leading him to question whether or not that was a good decision: 'The timeline I warned her about has now arrived.'
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Grad party hostess confronts plus-one guest who didn't introduce herself, guest leaves the party to sit in the car alone: "I didn't know whose house it was."
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Homeowner calls cops on neighbor who cut down 11 of their 30-year-old trees: 'This is going to be very expensive for him'
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Overworked employee doing a 3-person job solo gets denied PTO for a two-day vacation after her company laid off the rest of the department and never replaced anyone
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Manager refuses to spend $50 on external software, insisting engineer waste company resources developing a platform in-house: 'This project was costing the company roughly $4,000 in billing hours'
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