We are people, and we are the proud glowing, mothers of our own blunders, goofs, mistakes and chaos. Observe as we huff and puff, screaming in agony as we push out these facepalm moments made possible by the brutally stupid. And stand there dumbfounded as we drive home with a brand new wet, crying misfortune Monday, available on alternating Mondays, sometimes.
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Social media has a steep learning curve for the old. It's a lot of folks using the laughing emoji when sharing sad news, accidentally posting their sordid google searches as their statuses, printing out memes, believing even the most absurd satirical new articles, and speaking in all caps. But we gotta cut them some slack, cause these old people are trying their best on social media.
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Sometimes our lives feel like magnets for goofs, blunders, mistakes and errors. But luckily that's just sometimes. Unless of course you're the cause of all the spilled eggs, forklift crashes and exploded toilets in your life. Then we can't help you. But odds are, life is usually fine except for the odd misfortunate moments that intercept our usually okay lives. If there's ever a chance to look for some perspective it's on non-sequential but semi-regular Misfortune Mondays.
No person is immune to moments of stupidity. With that said, for some of us it just comes in episodes and for others it's a lifelong, chronic condition. Facepalm moments of profound dumbitude give us a window into the confusing lives of our world's morons. It's gotta be rough being an idiot, but it's worse for everyone else who has to deal with the fallout of facepalm moments made possible by the brutally stupid.
If only we could all be so inspired to measure once and not even cut, to never read the directions, and treat orders like the suggestions they really are. On that day, we could all truly be free. Free to live in a place where nothing really works as intended. But at least we wouldn't have to try very hard. And that world of "not my job" would be a beautiful one. Yes, the stop signs would face the wrong way and the toilet would drain directly into the downstairs bathtub, but it would be a "not my job" paradise.
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No injury is smart, but some are certainly dumber than others. Whether it came from a seemingly inconsequential source, a poor decision, or just plain hubris, most of us have sustained otherwise avoidable injuries that at least make for an okay story. Some are dumb and embarrassing freak injuries. Other injuries are just stupid.
Every part of life brings with it the potential for mistakes, failures, errors and blunders. Is it always our fault? Maybe some proactivity on our part could keep our toilets unexploded and our cars free of snow, but at the same time, the world is unpredictable. No amount of caution will completely save us from failure and stolen underwear, as evidenced by semi-frequent Misfortune Mondays.
No one should be surprised when something bad happens. Well, you're allowed to be shocked when your above-ground pool gets filled with scooters or your freshly baked lasagna explodes all over your car. But it's important to remember that misfortune happens and it goes on. It's life. Of course things are like this. As long as we accept that chaos is unavoidable we can at least be present and move forward. Still sucks though. Misfortune and mayhem is just part of the deal, and it's covered somewhat regularly on Misfortune Monday.
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Graphic design, font choice and building decisions seem simple enough in our heads, but they come with pitfalls in practice. Design failures are all around us. One slip of the font can turn a fortress into a fartress or a public area into a pubic one. The architects of these design failures could use a little bit of blame. Of course, for the rest of us they just make life more fun and interesting.
Ever have a text correspondence with a friend and discover that they think the phrase "dog eat dog world" is pronounced "doggy dog world?" Ever read a comment section and discover that a different friend spells "calamity" as "clam city?" Spelling failures are a lot more common than you'd think. You could chalk it up to poor proofreading or the state of public schools, but the errors will persist. There's no escaping the impressively creative and dumb spelling fails of the world.
As much as we'd like the forces of darkness and confusion to leave us alone, mistakes, failures, errors and blunders still find their way into our lives. It's not a graceful life; one of dropped phones and exploded pipes, but it is the one we are given. All there is to do is take it in stride and sometimes expect that the world is merciless.
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Sure, there's "takin' care of business," but the real law of everyday employment is "take care of literally just enough business to not get fired and hope no one notices." Some of us take this maxim to its extreme, and it results in some unprofessional "not my job" moments of failure. Sure, freeway lines are supposed to be straight but that's of little importance in the land of "not my job."
It's hard to design something completely without getting in the weeds a little, but some design failures deserve some blame. Maybe it's creating an impossible maze on the back of a cereal box. Maybe it's drapes that look like they were repurposed from a murder scene. There are thousands of ways to mess up, and these design failures could have used a second look.
Here be the land of upside down signs, ironic building decisions and incomplete projects. We've all had our own "not my job" moments that we felt could wait until Monday morning and then were completely forgotten by then. It's human to be lazy and make mistakes that could potentially damage property and people. You try not to, but hey man in these world of dubious professionalism, there are no guarantees.
Not trying to be a Charlie Brown here, but it's not like there's a natural law dictating that our lives must go perfectly. We just kind of have to hope our lives play out better than horribly and not let the setbacks get to us. That's a hard thing to do in a merciless world where things just keep happening, but we're basically out of options. The world is home to misfortune and chaos, and we are its roommates.
Whether English is your first language or not, people still have an extremely hard time navigating the finer points of spelling and wordology. These blunderous foibles of the English language drive home the fact that a one-letter mistake can mean a whole lot of difference, and even spelling something phonetically can lead to catastrophically regrettable spelling fails.
