manager

He'll kill you so hard, you'll die to death.

What's the deal? I see no medal around this person's neck yet. Chop chop!

As for the bajillion other potential excuses they could use, well... good luck with those!

Must...Insert Head..Into Buttocks... To Breath!

Tire swings are so old fashioned. You need a deluxe sofa swing!

Another great gag from Five Second Films

WARNING: Language is not safe for work. Conversely, the joke is highly relevant TO work. Weigh your options, I suppose.

For added effect, re-read while playing the Jaws soundtrack until the 9th panel. Then, after the 9th panel, play the soundtrack in reverse. Maybe a choir of angels for the last panel. Your call.

~OLJ

How many times can he walk past before he slams them all shut?

The best part is the toilet. That's the smallest toilet I've ever seen. If I sat on that, I'd feel even more like a bootlicking insignificant hive worker who enrages the team leader with each second wasted on personal issues like pooping.

~Office Lackey Jack