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Make a list and never follow up on it. That's the way to procrastinate. Luckily you can just as easily procrastinate with a bunch of hilarious lists. Win-win.
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Step-father trying to connect with step-daughter overhears her calling him ‘pathetic,’ so he resells the car he bought her: ‘I told her how much her words hurt, she rolled her eyes’
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16-year-old tells grandparents that he has "no family" after being let down by his parents and extended family: 'My parents used to fight [about who] had to take me'
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Job candidate gets told to leave the interview after they ask to eat lunch in the office instead of going out with the team: ‘You didn't pass the vibe check’
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Step-grandma insists on pink-themed surprise party for 5-year-old despite her instance she hates the color, mom takes her home: 'We’re not coming. We’re taking the kids to McDonalds'
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Employee quits bad job, leaves piles of work for their impolite boss: 'I will never forget the expression of defeat in his face at the last day'
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