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Man, I totally wish my parents were this cool. Spending my 10-year-old days gelling up my mohawk and running around in chaps... it would've been good times.

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The tragic accident at the nuclear plant behind him fused his body with that of Zsa Zsa Gabor's.

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As a child, Laura was bitten by a radioactive helium balloon. Now she must spend her days tethered to the earth by a rope held by her sidekick Gimpy, the Girl Wonder.

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To be fair, "gritty" reboots always go super well and never, ever backfire for the superhero comics industry. Now that Disney's bought Marvel, it's only the next logical step.

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And if those pants don't help him impress Farrah Fawcett, nothing will.

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Oh, you want me to put on some pants? Sorry, no can do. It's HOT out today.

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You'll be doing a lot more than kissing the cook by the time he's through with you.

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