halloween

People need costumes and they don't give a damn if they're legit. It takes a precise and creative mind to come up with a costume name that gets the point across without infringing on copyright law. That or, I guess you could just call it "Butt Surprise." Anyway, here are more off-brand costumes that are just legal enough.

Spooktober is just around the corner and our favorite bootleg crap is filling up store shelves. Costume makers will jump through some amazing hoops in order to not get dinged for intellectual property infringement and the results are pretty awesome. Can we interest you in dressing up as Blue Speed Mouse for halloween? Or how about you favorite Evil Midweek Cutie? For some actually spooky stuff to gear you up for haloween, check out these two-sentence horror stories.

This dad went off on his Facebook post about how he's just plain old fed up with parents handing out cheap Halloween candy to kids. It's got just the right amount of delusional choosing beggar entitlement that we're fairly confident it's got to be a joke. There's just no way a dad would go this far. We've got to hope, at least. 

We're always looking for ways to burn bridges, but this way seems a bit nuclear. That's a pretty sure-fire way to never have to worry about being invited back. Can we give him a break because he was like seven? Yeah, probably. 

Halloween is traditionally associated with candy, but a lot of people decided to get creative. Some thought "Why should kids get candy when you could give them a can of sausages!"

We can think of a lot of reasons, but alright.

In my day, we walked up 4 flights of stairs for a fun-size 3 Musketeers bar, and we were happy god dammit. 

But seriously, these folks have no chill when it comes to asking for free stuff.

Dr. Phil, you good bro? 

We've got just what you needed to kick your Halloween's spookiness into overdrive! 

And if these cursed images get you going, here are some more. 

Just seeing someone out there isn't the creepiest thing. It's the ones where someone is looking back. Those are the creepiest.

Thought you could get away with the same old classic costume this year? Thought you could pop some fake teeth in, throw on a cape, and call yourself George Washington? Not so fast. These people went the extra mile for the sake of creativity.

These skeletons are living their best lives. I can't be the only one who's jealous. 

The people that carved these spellbinding works of art are GIFTED.