goth

Quick, somebody rescue those cute stuffed animals from the background before Neil the Barbarian cleaves them in twain!

Or maybe there's just a stitch in the matrix...

All the more power to them!

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

Non-traditional weddings are the new traditional weddings. Get with it!

"Did I ever tell you how I got this bonnet? Well, my dad was a real drinker..."

You now realize that the music was also the soundtrack for The Sims and you are now unable to not think about moving furniture around a tiled room.

'I'm a human pet': The Goth teenager whose fiance walks her around on a dog leash.

Who's getting married to who?

Steven Tyler's search for his dentures: story on page 30.