fish

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Welcome to the Salmon Bong, the Pacific Northwest's finest invention since Lumbersexuals. 

spiders fish science Oh Good, Scientists Have Discovered a Spider That Can Swim and Fish
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The newly discovered spider called the dolomedes briangreenei hails from, you guessed it, Australia.  One of it's species, whose name is Brian, was presented at the World Science Festival in Brisbane. 

He was named after Professor Brian Greene, cofounder of the World Science Festival and a string theorist. 



Brian (the spider, not the string theorist) uses vibrations in the water to fish. Robert Raven, Principal Scientist of Arachnology at the Queensland Museum told Mashable:

These spiders sit there on the water and then all of a sudden an insect will hit the water and the spider races out to get it, grabs it, dives under the water and then swims back to the shore and starts eating it. 


It eats insects, fish and toads up to three times it's own size. Apparently its bites aren't that dangerous but the fact remains; now even the water is not safe from spiders. 

dating fish revenge A Woman Was Dumped by Her Boyfriend so She Left 'Plenty of Fish' in His Hot Tub
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Zoe Jackson must have thought she really found someone special on the dating website Plenty of Fish. That's why when he broke up with her she got revenge by leaving a bunch of dead mackeral in her boyfriend of three months, Gerard Brogan's hot tub.  He discovered it days later but caught the culprit by reviewing CCTV footage. 



He found Jackson (pictured above) on camera acting fishy with a large trashbag near his hot tub at night.  She has been ordered to pay for the repair of the hot tub and we can only guess that Brogan will stay away from online dating for a while. 

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Dude Tries to Complain About a Terrible Sandwich on Twitter, Ends Up With an Awesome Lyrical Pun Battle Instead

Tom Dodds tweeted at British fast food chain Pret a Manger to complain about a less than stellar sandwich he was served and got more than just good customer service in response.

picture of laughing sharks and caption about funny fish puns
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This stingray goes beast-rapid-freaking-fire mode, on the whole birthing process. Who'd have thought an unsuspecting fisherman could make such a great, entirely spontaneous midwife?

Let's just count our blessings that the f-bomb dropping, Bostonian madman fisherman wasn't around. He's still trying to get over that whole Ocean Sunfish business..

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These 10 Comics Show That Florida Man is One Of The Weirdest Superheroes Out There


America's Dong, Florida surely provides a terrific territory for hijinks and fortunately for us, Mandatory has compiled these great comics drawn by Dave Rappoccio showcasing one of the weirdest superheroes out there, Florida Man. Rumor has it that newspaper headlines supply him with powers of unknown strength in his battle against sound logic.

The funny headlines of Florida men being arrested has grown so much over the years, that there is even a Florida Man Know Your Meme page that helps the internet keep track of it all. 

florida man comics inspired by the headliens
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Boston bro goes insane over this fish right here.
Via mikeybrgn
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"It's Moby dck!"

Michael Bergin had himself an aquatic adventure the likes of which the rest of us can only dream of having.

Well, at least he acted like it. The very excitable Bostonian (actually his Facebook profile says he's from Malden, MA, which is just outside Boston) landed the fish of his dreams and goes f
ckin' insane during the whole f*ckin' adventure.

Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015


And you lucky bastard get to see the whole f*ckin' start of the f*ckin' thing right here, bro:

Today was a great way to end summer thank u

Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015


This glorious man guesses that it's everything from a baby whale to a tuna.

We're almost positive it's an ocean sunfish, which do indeed swim in the Atlantic. A few of the Facebook commenters agreed with us.

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Next time you try to relax with some fish, wear more clothes. That could have ended up way worse.