fish

The thing about Karens is that sometimes their self-centeredness bleeds into their ability to care for animals, like these fish that you really hope find a better home. Fine, have your standards about not wanting to give something to a "greedy" person, but dang lady, they're living things. This is why we can't have nice things. It's kind of like the time this pet store employee had to stop a Karen from torturing a starfish, or this influencer who left a fake review for stables and got decimated. Even if she doesn't learn her lesson, at least she won't be in the care of fish anymore.

Honestly, we're just relieved that he got out of the ocean. These oarfish look like they'd fit right into some kind of Pokémon game. They can end up being absolutely massive. Just imagine if you were out swimming around, enjoying some tropical waters, and ended up coming across one of these bad boys at their full size. Yikes. Yikes, indeed. 

So, maybe getting out of the ocean was a very bright idea after all. What starts as a seemingly innocent little Tumblr thread on the baby oarfish ends up escalating into a series of insights about just how monstrously big the oarfish can end up being. I honestly just wonder what Pokémon was inspired by this bad boy. If you're looking for another interesting read from the wonderful wandering minds of Tumblr, check out this thread about Hollywood's toxic beauty standards. 

We knew there were tons of extremely specialized, gross and miserable animals. Y'know, like wasps that lay eggs in living things or fish that swim up pee holes. It looks like this guy just got added to the list. For more animal tumblr stuff, here's a tumblr meltdown after someone says fish aren't animals, and a tumblr thread on farm animals that takes a dark turn.

This is one of those conversations that's just an absolute train wreck. We all hope that this is nothing more than a drawn out act of trolling, and that there wasn't actually any mystery around whether fish were animals or not. Truth is that there really is that level of cluelessness out in the world right now. At least we get some fails out of it. 

This Twitter thread from @JUNIUS_64, about the conditional immortality of lobsters is a trip. Apparently the information shared is indeed true. So, digesting the fact that lobsters basically have a cheat code for the aging process (dying of old age), and instead die from either getting perilously squeezed in their shells or those same shells developing parasites, is fascinating. 

Apparently "fish fraud" is a very real and disgusting problem. And whatever you do, DON'T look up body louse. Turns out there really was something fishy about that sushi...

What these parents thought was a "miracle" actually turned out to be a stupid accident. Thankfully, peppers are spicy as a deterrent for mammals, so there's a decent chance the fish wasn't hurt by the potentially catostrophic mistake. For a time when spicy peppers did end up inflicting some burn, here's a time a kid's hot sauce mistake damned an entire party to a choking hell.

If you've ever found yourself "accidentally" doing something illegal, it's easy to get paranoid and imagine there could be an authority figure behind any tree, corner, or about to pop out of a storm drain. Now imagine you're fishing illegally and you find yourself reeling in a fish and game warden, like a goddamn cartoon. On the other side of the spectrum, here are stories of 17 police officers encounters with criminal masterminds.

These nightmarish deep sea dive finds are a mess of NOPE. I can only imagine the expression on this Russian fisherman's face when he reeled these nightmarish creatures of hell itself, in. Like, do you even WANT to catch these. Yeah, NO. 

These boat owners clearly port their heart and sail into these ones. Whoever named these were definitely fishing for attention. Like, if they've got such big brains, I'd sure like to check their capsize. Poopdeck. By the way if you wanna see some incredible dad jokes and puns, then check these out.

Sometimes you see something and with your whole heart and soul you wonder "what the hell is that?" Thanks to the pool of geniuses over at r/whatisthisthing, mysteries like this are posed and solved every day. May the internet make it so that we'll never have to not know anything ever again. Okay, except maybe when you find mysterious items in your dad's toolbox. Maybe it'd be best to not know the truth behind those.

People found themselves petrified with fear and overwhelmed by paleontoligists' recently shared findings about the 100-million-year-old hagfish slime's capabilities. This eerie, eel-like creature sounds like it swam and slithered right out of a feverish nightmare. If you're curious to learn more about why you'd never want to see one of these in the wild, check out the original article that sent everyone into a frenzy, here.