fish

This Twitter thread from @JUNIUS_64, about the conditional immortality of lobsters is a trip. Apparently the information shared is indeed true. So, digesting the fact that lobsters basically have a cheat code for the aging process (dying of old age), and instead die from either getting perilously squeezed in their shells or those same shells developing parasites, is fascinating. 

Apparently "fish fraud" is a very real and disgusting problem. And whatever you do, DON'T look up body louse. Turns out there really was something fishy about that sushi...

What these parents thought was a "miracle" actually turned out to be a stupid accident. Thankfully, peppers are spicy as a deterrent for mammals, so there's a decent chance the fish wasn't hurt by the potentially catostrophic mistake. For a time when spicy peppers did end up inflicting some burn, here's a time a kid's hot sauce mistake damned an entire party to a choking hell.

If you've ever found yourself "accidentally" doing something illegal, it's easy to get paranoid and imagine there could be an authority figure behind any tree, corner, or about to pop out of a storm drain. Now imagine you're fishing illegally and you find yourself reeling in a fish and game warden, like a goddamn cartoon. On the other side of the spectrum, here are stories of 17 police officers encounters with criminal masterminds.

These nightmarish deep sea dive finds are a mess of NOPE. I can only imagine the expression on this Russian fisherman's face when he reeled these nightmarish creatures of hell itself, in. Like, do you even WANT to catch these. Yeah, NO. 

These boat owners clearly port their heart and sail into these ones. Whoever named these were definitely fishing for attention. Like, if they've got such big brains, I'd sure like to check their capsize. Poopdeck. By the way if you wanna see some incredible dad jokes and puns, then check these out.

Sometimes you see something and with your whole heart and soul you wonder "what the hell is that?" Thanks to the pool of geniuses over at r/whatisthisthing, mysteries like this are posed and solved every day. May the internet make it so that we'll never have to not know anything ever again. Okay, except maybe when you find mysterious items in your dad's toolbox. Maybe it'd be best to not know the truth behind those.

People found themselves petrified with fear and overwhelmed by paleontoligists' recently shared findings about the 100-million-year-old hagfish slime's capabilities. This eerie, eel-like creature sounds like it swam and slithered right out of a feverish nightmare. If you're curious to learn more about why you'd never want to see one of these in the wild, check out the original article that sent everyone into a frenzy, here. 

Your job may suck but that doesn't mean your desk has to. Making a small change like a adding plant or arranging multiple desks into a "super desk" and claiming it its own sovereign nation could be the trick to expressing yourself and fighting the power. A little creativity and a lot of spare time can lead to some really incredible results. And on that note, one of the most notorious AskReddit posters and epic trolls of Reddit has a collection of some of their best moments, so why not take a gander?

How did people discover that you could dig up months old ammonia-shark and eat it without dying? The answer to this, and most likely a lot of these, is as simple as "someone must've been pretty damn hungry."

There's not much context for any of the uncomfortable crap going on here. That is how cursed images are, and we have more if you need. All there is to say is that it's weird and you probably won't like it.

RIP little buddy...

Attempts are drawn toward failure like a magnet. In these cases, you can't say these people and animals didn't try. Could they have tried harder? Maybe.